Silicon Soapware #225

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                            SILICON SOAPWARE 
       wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway
                        from Bubbles = Tom Digby
                           = bubbles@well.com 

                      http://www.well.com/~bubbles/

                               Issue #225
                       New Moon of April 10, 2013


Contents copyright 2013 by Thomas G. Digby, and licensed under a Creative 
Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.  See the Creative 
Commons site at http://creativecommons.org/ for details. 

Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback.  
Details of how to sign up are at the end.  


                          *********************

I was thinking about how I'd just gotten my tax stuff done for the year, 
and was considering using that for a theme for this issue of Silicon 
Soapware, when I got the news that two notable people had died: Former 
British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and Mouseketeer Annette 
Funicello.  That of course brings up that old line about the only sure 
things in life being death and taxes.

Since anyone unfamiliar with the quote, or with the concept of death, or 
the concept of taxes, can look them up in Wikipedia I don't feel any real 
need to explain them here.

All this reminds me of an earlier discussion about how the primary cause 
of cancer is entropy, in the sense of the universe tending toward a state 
of maximum disorder.  Entropy is probably also the leading cause of 
death.  That leads to thoughts about that other well-known quote about 
not being able to win, nor break even, nor get out of the game.

That in turn leads to thoughts of what if it were different.

While we might wish for a world in which one can win, or at least break 
even, would evolution as we know it work in such a setting (assuming, for 
the moment, no intelligent Creator)?  If eventual death were not 
inevitable, would the mechanism of natural selection via survival of the 
fittest actually do any selecting?  Would we have evolved?  Or would the 
world still be dominated by some moderately competent form of pond scum 
that had no reason to ever be anything but pond scum?  To take an 
anthropomorphic view, would whatever primitive life first arose have been 
content to rest on its laurels?

Of course even if that would have been the case, there might have been 
some other way for intelligence to arise.  A world in which random chance 
does not tend toward disorder might allow for all sorts of things we here 
would call "magic" or "miracles" or simply not have a name for.


                          *********************

There's also the question of whether there might somewhere be a world in 
which there is a Musketeer named Annette Unicellular.  This spelling 
checker seems to be pining for such a place.


                          *********************

At a recent restaurant expedition I happened to notice the bouncers.  
They were large athletic-looking men, wearing black T-shirts with the 
word "SECURITY" on them.  I think part of their job was to look 
intimidating.  The hope would be that anyone who might start an 
altercation would be deterred by the thought that the security people are 
likely to win.

You seldom see little scrawny guys working security in bars and such, at 
least not in this world.  But the Star Wars universe could be different.

A potential troublemaker walks into a bar where the only security staff 
is this one skinny little guy.  So the troublemaker thinks he'll have an 
easy time of it, and starts making trouble.

But then the security person calmly walks up to him and starts making 
gestures at him, perhaps while calmly saying things like "This is not the 
bar you want to make trouble in."  The troublemaker is a lot bigger and 
heavier than the security person, but for some reason it does not occur 
to him to try to engage in physical combat.  Then he finds himself out on 
the street.  There's no big fight scene, nobody beaten up, no furniture 
knocked over, no drinks spilled.  The memory is kind of hazy, but 
apparently he just sort of felt like leaving.  So he wanders away, in 
search of nothing in particular.

In a world where that type of thing works most bar owners would probably 
prefer it, even if it's kind of disappointing from the point of view of a 
spectator hoping to see a big fight scene.


                          *********************

From a Wikipedia article on formaldehyde: "Foods known to be contaminated 
include noodles, salted fish, tofu, and rumors of chicken and beer."

So how do those rumors get contaminated?


                          *********************

Remember coin-operated scales?

When I was a child they were common in drugstores and restaurants and 
other public places.  Stand on the platform, drop a penny in the slot, 
and it would show your weight.  But nowadays they seem to have 
disappeared.  Why?

I suspect that even if there are some still around, the price has gone 
up.  I'd guess a coin-operated scale today would take a quarter, or a 
dime at the very least, what with the cost of maintenance and just the 
physical work of emptying the coin box every now and then.  But that 
doesn't explain when they aren't around at all.

My guess is that bathroom scales have gotten more affordable and thus 
more common, so that people don't feel the need to weigh themselves at 
the drugstore or wherever like they used to.

Also, if you weigh yourself at home you can do it naked and not have to 
figure in the weight of clothing (which can vary with weather and such) 
and whatever may be in your pockets.  So that's another point against 
scales in public places.

So is that it?  Did they disappear for other reasons?  Or are 
coin-operated scales still around, with me just not noticing them?


                          *********************

A few days ago I found the song "Cry of the Wild Goose" ("My heart knows 
what the wild goose knows, and I must go where the wild goose goes ...") 
going through my head.  As you may know, it's about a couple whose 
relationship is doomed because one partner expects to settle down while 
the other feels a need to wander.  Another such song is "The Wayward 
Wind".  Both can probably be found on YouTube, along with others.

Nowadays the younger folks might ask why they don't just friend each 
other on the Internet and continue the relationship that way.


                          *********************

I've now and then wondered, especially when riding an elevator, about the 
possibility of having a building whose floor numbers were out of order.  
Say the third floor was labeled "5" and the fifth floor was labeled "4", 
and so on.  How easy would it be to keep people from noticing that the 
floor numbers weren't in the "normal" order?

I think we pretty much have to assume that the stairs are not available 
to ordinary people for routine use.  If you're taking the stairs you're a 
lot more likely to notice which floor is which, even if your mind is 
mostly on something else, than on an elevator.  Let's also assume that 
anyone working on building maintenance or security or anything else 
requiring special access privileges will have to be in on the secret.

If it's an office building in which almost everybody starts and ends 
their work day at about the same time so you routinely get an elevator 
full of people getting on or off at a bunch of different floors, sooner 
or later people will notice that the order in which the elevator gets to 
the various floors doesn't always seem consistent with the feeling of 
going up or down.  Likewise, anyone going from one upper floor to another 
is likely to notice which one is above or below the other.  So the 
"regulars" will pretty much have to all be in on it.

The only people you have much hope of keeping the secret from are those 
who come in at times when the elevators aren't very busy, and who always 
go nonstop from the lobby to whatever floor their destination is on.  And 
even then, once they get to wherever they're going you'll need to be 
careful not to let them get too good a view out the windows.

It's probably easier to keep the secret if you keep all the floor numbers 
in the right order and just skip some numbers.  The missing floors would 
have to have buttons in the elevators, but as long as nobody ever tries 
to push one the fact that those floors don't exist may escape notice.  
Even then, if anyone ever tries counting floors from outside they may 
notice that the building doesn't have as many visible floors as there are 
buttons in the elevators.

We might want to consider the reasons for all this game-playing.  I'm 
assuming that you basically don't want customers or spies or prisoners or 
the like to know for certain what physical floor of the building they're 
actually going to.  If you're willing to admit that you are keeping this 
information secret, the simplest strategy might be to just forget about 
numbers and give the floors names that may relate to whatever functions 
or services may be found on any given floor ("Executive Level", 
"Detention Level", and so on) without giving any hint of how high or low 
any particular one is.


                          *********************

One weekend many years ago a bunch of us drove down from Los Angeles to 
spend a weekend in Mexico.  We left L.A. Friday evening and got to the 
border fairly late at night, with almost no other traffic.

There was very little in the way of border formalities.  As far as I 
could tell there was nobody on the US side checking people leaving.  On 
the Mexican side there was a Spanish-language stop sign with a uniformed 
man standing next to it.  He waved us through and that was It.  Things 
may be different now, but this was before 9/11 and that's how it was back 
then.

It made me think of an attendant inviting cars into a parking lot, except 
that at the parking lot they often hand you a ticket with your arrival 
time stamped on it so they'll know how much to charge you for parking 
when you leave.  So this border crossing was even less formal than a 
parking lot would have been.

Crossing back into the US on the return trip was another story, but 
that's for another time.

What I'm thinking about at the moment is the lists kept by those on the 
US side.  Since nobody was checking people going to Mexico, we would have 
been listed as having arrived in the US but not as previously having 
left.  Most bureaucrats would probably just assume that tourists are, to 
a first approximation, conserved, so that our arrival was evidence of a 
previous departure, even if they didn't have the details of that 
departure in their data files.

But what if that assumption was wrong?  What if, hidden away somewhere in 
the wilds of Mexico, there was a mad scientist who for some mad reason 
was cloning American tourists (including making copies of their travel 
documents) and sending them into the US, perhaps to madly wreak some sort 
of mad-scientist-inspired havoc at some time in the future?  As long as 
there weren't too many of them crossing the border in quick succession, 
and as long as there was no detailed checking of traffic leaving the US 
for Mexico, any one set of copies would look like the original person had 
just gone back and forth across the border multiple times.

There could be dozens, or even hundred or thousands, of these copies 
wandering around with no one the wiser.

Of course there's a limit to how many copies of any one person would be 
able to blend into society before they started being noticed, but if they 
were careful not to concentrate themselves in any one area and no one 
individual looked or acted too unusual that limit could be fairly large.

So has that homeland security loophole been closed?


                          *********************


                            The Village Dragon


If the dragon has a name, it's not one that fits human ears
Or human tongues.  

The people of the nearby village know him as 
"Our Dragon"
And they will gladly tell you 
How most of the tales told about him are wrong. 

Yes, he can breathe out fire,
And he used to ravage the countryside for miles around. 
But that was centuries ago, 
Before he and the people of the village made peace.  

Now he helps light the village's holiday bonfires.

And yes, he does keep a pile of gold and jewels in his cave.
But he isn't obsessive about it 
And he is generous to any villagers in need of aid.  

Those maidens he supposedly devours?  
He finds them more useful as servants and messengers and companions,
And pays them decent wages.  

Now and then a knight in shining armor will appear, 
Asking villagers for directions to the dragon's cave.  
Most depart in peace 
Once people assure them
That this dragon does not need to be slain.  

Only the occasional hothead with more bravery than brains
Ends up on the dinner menu.  

Knights are not his favorite food.  
He prefers the animals of the forest, 
Especially the wolves that now and then make their way to the meadow 
Where the shepherds keep their sheep.  

He also finds bandits and highwaymen to be rather tasty, 
Especially when weighted down with ill-gotten gold.  

But the adventurers he most enjoys 
Are the wandering bards and troubadours.  

No, he doesn't eat them.  

He listens to their songs and stories 
And gives them shelter in his cave, 
Safe from the elements and the perils of the night.  

He often sends his maidens 
To invite the people of the village 
To join the merriment.  
The cave rings with song and laughter, sometimes until dawn. 
Then all go their separate ways, bearing fond memories.  

Those memories are the dragon's real treasure, 
Far more precious than silver or gold.   


				-- Tom Digby
				First Draft 18:21 Fri April 4 2008
				Edited      22:11 Sun April 6 2008



                          *********************

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