We confess ourself unimpressed at the entirely false dichotomy set up that in Ye Olden Dayez what sex therapists saw was physical problems, and now what they see are 'bio-psycho-social' difficulties.
Aphrodite knows, I wish somebody would set to and research the history of sex therapy in the UK, because it is a Different Story from that in the USA, and I know
where the bodies are buried where a whole lot of extremely pertinent archival material may be found. But my distinct sense is that they were working on a fairly holistic (though I doubt that back in the 1950s they would have used that word) model, what with calling on the insights of the Balint Method and so on. It was by no means mechanistic. See also this blog post re a friend of mine's research on a particular woman doctor's work in marital counselling in private practice in the 1950s.
So there's that about The Past.
And as far as physical problems go, these seem fairly prominent in contemporary consultations, what with the prevalence of ED and 'increase in women with vaginismus'.
And in the realm of plus ca change, or maybe things are even going backwards
For all the talk of lifting stigmas, therapists say uniformly that, for many people – even the majority – sex remains a taboo. Moyle points out that society is still predominantly heteronormative and kinks are not openly discussed. “We’re in this really weird paradox where everybody looks like they are having sex and is talking about sex, but the realistic, normal conversations are not happening.”
Even at the individual level, Lovett says conversations today are no more frank or open than they were in the mid-1980s. Buchanan finds there are more barriers than there were 15 years ago. “A bit of me is still surprised by people’s ignorance around their own bodies and their partner’s,” says Knowles. More pragmatic, robust sexual education is sorely needed.
Of the Landvaettr, things seem to be mostly the same since last time. The majority are what I(and apparently others do from the internet;>) call Rods; basically flying cylinders >1 ft long. This time the Sessile(my name for the thing that looks to me like a sea anemone the size of a mini cooper with it's tentacles retracted)was gone so there may have been more Rods than last time since it's the only Wight I've EVER seen acting Predatory. There were a few things far off but not very clear to me. None of those giant whatzits striding over the treetops like some modern art version of a Japanese Kaiju.
Over the yrs I've noted a few things; they are more abundant and active when it's bright and warm. Other than that, not much. Near Human habitats there are only a handful of "species"(with the Rods as most abundant). When I've been out in the Woods I hadn't been paying attention and now too mobility challenged to make up for that. Oh Well. I'll just do the best I can with what I've got;>
Basically, every woman but Susan is presented in a sexist light, Susan isn't so great either as she's "not like other girls," ugh, and the men are all sleazy and opportunistic.
Not a show to rewatch. I can't believe I didn't complain before about watching a 30-something pout about how only single men are "worth her elasticity." (For those who haven't seen it, the female BFF sidekick thinks only single men are worth risking wrinkles for, so she only ever smiles at them. Gross.)
I have pondered, on occasion, a trap door so we can get to the crawlspace from inside, and creating a small nook of comfort. Any motivation to actually follow through would be far more dystopian than tornadoes. I will get one of the crank powered radios in the bathroom though, along with treats for the pets.
Dad -- as an engineer, he has constantly lectured us on stress damage to bridges, roller coasters, ferris wheels, and the like. This Thursday i noted how he argues for designing for the unexpected and pointed out he was not managing his and mom's help that way. He said, "You think i'm planning for the worst" when i suggested a strategy of spending more over this year with the expectation that Mom will be more able to care for her physical needs in a year. I replied that i did NOT think he was planning for the worst but for steady state -- he wasn't planning for the unexpected. When i left he said i'd given him something to think about. I called my sister and we agreed to hold off on the intervention this weekend to give him time to reflect.
Mom -- she showed me how she can stand and take three tiny steps -- giving dad a panic when he realized she was going forward with it without any knowledgeable supervision. It was lovely to see her stand up and move her leg but also telling: she's going to be in more danger before she gets out of danger. And her cognition is clearly impaired. Dad, by the end of the day, wants her to just stay still and not do anything so he doesn't have to be on alert. It's not fair to either of them. With their long relationship history, Dad asking Mom to stay still is like a starter's pistol at a race.
The Working Group -- Long weekend in Europe acts a barrier to a few logistical steps. I wanted to have the survey out, but feel stymied by the organizational wiki being frozen and the absence of an email we can use as a public address.
The Strategic Plan for the CTO -- this went well, and i think i had a good graphical interpretation of current state idea.
The Product Proposal -- the executive leadership team judges it on Monday. Depending on their decision, the CTO plan gets a general change in how i will advocate.
Lunch with Ladies -- the mayor from Meeting had suggested we get together for lunch and i accepted, and she also invited the Meeting Newsletter editor who lives nearby. The Mayor apparently knocked herself out with an antihistamine, leaving the editor and i to lunch together. The editor's husband had Alzheimer's, so she could comfortably discuss caregiver issues. She used to be a paper artist and is returning to that, so we had that pleasure to discuss. The Greek food was fine, and i bought Turkish coffee to make in the coffee pot my brother bought in Saudi Arabia.
Elephants -- mostly quiet but with some moments where they were on edge. Christine took care of them.
Reading -- a Maisie Dobbs novel was automatically checked out when my turn in line came up and i read that last night. I continue to appreciate the psychology despite what i expect is complete and utter anachronism. And i continue to appreciate a self aware main character who is not tortured or self destructive or miserable, but engages in self care. I also respect how she wraps up her projects: may it inspire me to be a little more responsible. I also read a 1991 novel An Owl Too Many by Charlotte MacLeod. I didn't know the date of the novel when i started, but i became curious. What kept the novel from being set in 1970? The environmentalism front and center would have been at home. The prudish university persident's wife seemed more at home closer to the 70s than the current. A coded notebook elicited a comment about computer code: that was the only appearance of a computer. No mobile or cell phones: my father had one in the 8Os. Ah, the series began in 1979. Well then.
The outside -- green green green. The cold snap this week didn't snap to a temperature that cause any harm. Thursday after work the seedlings in the greenhouse looked melted. I'll see soon if any revived. I forget what is planted in the trays but germination hasn't been rapid. I suspect some cases are just that it will take a long time. I am not impressed with my seed starting skills. Perhaps next year i will ensure i buy seed starting mix and perhaps fiddle more.
I've always wondered how people calibrate fates worse than death. There's probably a Ph.D. in it for someone.
2019-04-20 Rerun commentary: Captain Blackadder: And what is your message?
von Gerhardt: It is: Prepare for a fate worse than death, English flying fellow.
Captain Blackadder: Oh. So, it's the traditional warm German welcome.
von Gerhardt: Correct. Also, he is saying: Do not try to escape or you will suffer even worse.
Captain Blackadder: A fate worse than a fate worse than death? Sounds pretty bad. - Blackadder IV, Episode 4 - "Private Plane".
I am noticing that the first running interval each time is almost always uncomfortable, but everything seems to loosen up by the second or third, so I'm trying to make sure I take that first one as gently as possible while still actually running, and trusting that it will get better (and so far it always has). I am definitely reaching the point of actively enjoying most of the running intervals and coming out of the overall exercise with a nice endorphin buzz. Whee.
However, there's also a rarer pleasure found in some books, I read them slowly to savor them and fall into them. Nina Kiriki Hoffman's The Red Heart of Memories and Past the Size of Dreaming are novels like this, and so is Lois McMaster Bujold's Paladin of Souls. My awesome new friend alatefeline loaned me this book, and told me it was one of their favorites - I now see why.
Although this week had too much work, with both writing about dragons and revising the book I'm developing, I found a bit of time for reading, and read the last third of the book tonight. It is a lovely book. It's not one of those with brilliant new ideas, and I was familiar with the setting from Bujold's quite good Penric novellas. Instead, it a book that focuses on its characters and their choices, and above all on the protagonist and her choices and her life. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
These are new-to-me books. Titles in bold are for the 2019 50books_poc challenge. Fiction is in green.
34. The Hot One: A Memoir of Friendship, Sex, and Murder, Carolyn Murnick (2017) (a response: "An Open Letter to Carolyn Murnick")
35. A Man of Independent Mind (Clorinda Cathcart's Circle Book 2), L.A. Hall (2019)
36. Nebula Awards Showcase 2004, ed. Vonda N. McIntyre (2004)
A Life Discarded: 148 Diaries Found in a Skip, Alexander Masters (2016)
Full Dark House: A Peculiar Crimes Unit Mystery, Christopher Fowler (2003)
To Say Nothing of the Dog, Connie Willis (1997)
Screwtop, Vonda N. McIntyre (1976)
(yes I use the somewhat cheap "grocery store" spices and I drink Stash tea, because they're always in stock at the QFC/Bartell's that's about six blocks away for not much money, and reliable/accessible/affordable is good.)
Before I got the spice rack, all those little bottles were just on the shelf all at the same level, with wasted space above, and theoretically the least-used ones were at the back but it still DROVE ME CRAZY trying to find shit. Now it's all accessible! For like a good five minutes after I finished I just stood looking at it, absurdly pleased. (Yes, I also like this tumblr, don't @ me.)
(THE FOLGER'S INSTANT COFFEE IS NOT MINE, IT IS T'S. INSTANT COFFEE SHOULD BE ABHORRED AS AN ABOMINATION UPON THE EARTH. He says he likes it. He also uses the nasty Kroger cinnamon on his morning oatmeal. Says ditto. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
This was about the time that *I* decided to go to lunch. :)
During my absence, the chair was tipped up, and Skeezix was extracted and returned to the library.
Among today's purchases for our new resident was catnip.